i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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