Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
