Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Can Purell be used as lube?
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
True college students do jello shots in the library
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