man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Found the puke drawer
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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