So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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