whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
