I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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