3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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