He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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