Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
