i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
