Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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