i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize