just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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