Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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