I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
