Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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