did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
