just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
