I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
