I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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