I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
