apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
