Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
