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• (410): View more from Maryland

  After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk

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• (360): View more from Washington

  You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...

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• (571): View more from Virginia

  I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.

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  23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..

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• (909): View more from California

  Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.

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  These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious

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• (772): View more from Florida

  Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...

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• (407): View more from Florida

  Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?

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