Texts From Last Night

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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?

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  (314): I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university? http://tfl.nu/bxwk
  Replies (37) Good night (6342) Bad night (863)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.

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  (563): when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle. http://tfl.nu/q5ra
  Replies (17) Good night (4696) Bad night (1380)
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  (408): View more from California

  They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.

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  (408): They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald. http://tfl.nu/krtp
  Replies (21) Good night (8166) Bad night (1496)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..

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  (630): Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.. http://tfl.nu/pq67
  Replies (7) Good night (4097) Bad night (1792)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.

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  (860): I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think. http://tfl.nu/zuxj
  Replies (8) Good night (3142) Bad night (862)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face

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  (615): If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face http://tfl.nu/2kqd
  Replies (9) Good night (4245) Bad night (971)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.

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  (937): The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me. http://tfl.nu/27v8
  Replies (3) Good night (1025) Bad night (2244)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Champagne is a vitamin, right?

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  (904): Champagne is a vitamin, right? http://tfl.nu/gkox
  Replies (4) Good night (2381) Bad night (1088)
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  (925): View more from California

  We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro

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  (925): We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro http://tfl.nu/hanl
  Replies (11) Good night (1724) Bad night (644)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I'm dying.

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  (503): It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me. (541): I'm dying. http://tfl.nu/wgmh
  Replies (3) Good night (730) Bad night (978)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.

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  (541): After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave. http://tfl.nu/k4g0
  Replies (5) Good night (879) Bad night (1111)
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  (631): View more from New York

  he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader

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  (631): he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader http://tfl.nu/jd8g
  Replies (6) Good night (804) Bad night (592)
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  (714): View more from California

  I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.

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  (714): I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented. http://tfl.nu/mdds
  Replies (1) Good night (774) Bad night (361)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"

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  (978): And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road" http://tfl.nu/f7q8
  Replies (1) Good night (344) Bad night (455)
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  (273): View more from

  Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure

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  (273): Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure http://tfl.nu/2kl0
  Replies (2) Good night (392) Bad night (161)

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