Texts From Last Night

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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Call meee

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...

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  (603): Call meee (781): Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now... http://tfl.nu/j06g
  Replies (3) Good night (1614) Bad night (407)
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  (562): View more from California

  trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"

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  (562): trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander" http://tfl.nu/pjq1
  Replies (20) Good night (3259) Bad night (642) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator

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  (512): you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator http://tfl.nu/ic52
  Replies (17) Good night (7552) Bad night (536) Order T-Shirt
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???

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  (216): she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job??? http://tfl.nu/mo3e
  Replies (32) Good night (1004) Bad night (3884) Order T-Shirt
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  (760): View more from California

  He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?

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  (760): He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite? http://tfl.nu/b780
  Replies (6) Good night (3160) Bad night (788) Order T-Shirt
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  (562): View more from California

  I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.

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  (562): I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness. http://tfl.nu/jxto
  Replies (7) Good night (772) Bad night (1519) Order T-Shirt
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  (692): View more from

  I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger

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  (692): I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger http://tfl.nu/6k76
  Replies (1) Good night (874) Bad night (310) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself

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  (773): Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself http://tfl.nu/pyfv
  Replies (14) Good night (1039) Bad night (512) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought

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  (845): He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought http://tfl.nu/z4p7
  Replies (7) Good night (2640) Bad night (394) Order T-Shirt
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  (831): View more from California

  After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"

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  (831): After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!" http://tfl.nu/os8d
  Replies (4) Good night (2513) Bad night (419)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.

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  (978): Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home. http://tfl.nu/9m9p
  Replies (8) Good night (1113) Bad night (220) Order T-Shirt
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.

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  (307): I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes. http://tfl.nu/vcco
  Replies (6) Good night (907) Bad night (370) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.

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  (201): Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour. http://tfl.nu/pcyi
  Replies (8) Good night (374) Bad night (986)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?

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  (616): I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night? http://tfl.nu/mkh7
  Replies (2) Good night (193) Bad night (430) Order T-Shirt
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho

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  (+61): And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho http://tfl.nu/t3gn
  Replies (1) Good night (349) Bad night (192) Order T-Shirt

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