he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT