Texts From Last Night

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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.

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  (678): I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time. http://tfl.nu/ogf0
  Replies (57) Good night (1416) Bad night (6887)
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  (415): View more from California

  worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.

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  (415): worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser. http://tfl.nu/daye
  Replies (13) Good night (666) Bad night (4627)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.

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  (732): Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night. http://tfl.nu/1hz1
  Replies (13) Good night (3679) Bad night (1186)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.

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  (517): I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair. http://tfl.nu/elj5
  Replies (17) Good night (1561) Bad night (4336)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja

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  (250): A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja http://tfl.nu/h6o5
  Replies (30) Good night (7562) Bad night (1296)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth

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  (405): I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth http://tfl.nu/n9x2
  Replies (9) Good night (888) Bad night (3828)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.

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  (319): i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie. http://tfl.nu/wyd8
  Replies (7) Good night (1012) Bad night (2589)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!

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  (717): I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?! http://tfl.nu/77lq
  Replies (7) Good night (1046) Bad night (3006)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.

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  (972): I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me. http://tfl.nu/5z1z
  Replies (3) Good night (2068) Bad night (662)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier

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  (828): In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier http://tfl.nu/71e3
  Replies (3) Good night (1234) Bad night (586)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.

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  (207): I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom. http://tfl.nu/g4e2
  Replies (6) Good night (890) Bad night (537)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.

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  (413): he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs. http://tfl.nu/bd7x
  Replies (3) Good night (1421) Bad night (413)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties

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  (605): I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties http://tfl.nu/3zmr
  Replies (4) Good night (752) Bad night (333)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  the girl whose rug I peed on is here

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  (205): the girl whose rug I peed on is here http://tfl.nu/6wyj
  Replies (4) Good night (317) Bad night (518)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them

  (386): View more from Florida

  Tequila 1 marriage 0

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  (813): He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them (386): Tequila 1 marriage 0 http://tfl.nu/qbt7
  Replies (0) Good night (292) Bad night (665)

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