I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.