we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
