Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Randomize
