eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
