Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
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