i just had sex bonerless
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
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