The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
