I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
