What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
