I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
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