why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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