I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
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The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
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He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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