The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
