i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
