I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Randomize
