Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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