He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
