so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
There's always time for handjobs
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
