life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
