is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
