i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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