Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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