Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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