Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
