omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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