My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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