dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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