Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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