Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
MIDGETS
????
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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