You were right. It hurts to walk today.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
