Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
