Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
