I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
