her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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