Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
