i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
